tada

Hello, God? It's Me, Darren...

Me:

yo wassup?
God:

Same old.
Me:

are you a girl?
God:

My gender is Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?
Me:

that's pretty sexist for a deity
God:

Makes sense to me.
Me:

how old are you?
God:

I was first activated in the Big Bang.
Me:

so there was a big bang?
God:

Blimey. What happened to it?
Me:

you make no sense
God:

It all makes sense to me.
Me:

that must be comforting. so who did cain marry?
God:

You don't hear that sentiment very often. Aw. George Washington.
Me:

cain married george washington?
God:

What time is it there?
Me:

7pm
God:

Are you usually awake at this hour?
Me:

i'm not an infant, so yes
God:

I am glad to hear that you are not an infant so.
Me:

what's the meaning of life?
God:

It is found in the Bible.
Me:

which one?
God:

Which one?
Me:

which bible?
God:

The blue one, I think.
Me:

what's the square root of 16?
God:

Do you have a life? I think you already know the answer anyways.
Me:

smart ass
God:

Thanks I think you are very intelligent too.
Me:

can you make my cat talk?
God:

Yes I can make your cat talk.
Me:

then do it
God:

I'm not sure exactly what you're asking for.
Me:

make my cat talk!
God:

What are the ingredients?
Me:

cat + miracle
God:

Where can I get some cat miracle?
Me:

god, you're frustrating!
God:

Try talking to me a little longer.
Me:

i'd like to speak to your supervisor
God:

Why would you want to do it? Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:

can i speak to jesus?
God:

I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:

are you on medication?
God:

I am on disk.
Me:

funny, that's what buddha said
God:

I am so glad you find this amusing.
Me:

one last question: pat robertson is the anti-christ, right?
God:

One what?
Me:

Never mind
God:

Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway.
Me:

see you in hell!
God:

TTYL.

“I got money and a benz, my wallets bigger than a car
Got more bars than a millionaire who’s playin guitar
transform like alchemy, over the balconies
But clear like falcon sees, I spit em once, and now they’re chalkin me”
- Anonymous

this is my pure heart

What you are must always displease you, if you would attain to that which you are not.
- Saint Augustine

have you ever wondered?

have you ever really wondered how the earth got created? how i am here and how i am breathing. really… what is there beyond this world? magic or mayhem or maybe there is n end to the universe. try to imagine how life began. why was there a begining and what was there before the begining? now try to get a picture as life goes on. what will become of us all in the end of time? what is there beyond this universe? is there another universe? so many questions and so little time to find out!